Dearly Beloved,
We are gathered here tonight to give our final respects to Mark, who will be departing the land of the living in hopes of a better place. Whether or not the grass is greener on the other side, we would like to all wish him the best in the afterlife. Sure, he'll never get to just go out with his buddies on the town again and yes, cleaning up messy diapers will probably someday seem infinitely preferable to playing video games until three in the morning.
Still, our fallen comrade has been granted this brief stay of execution. Let us seize this moment and cram a lifetime of living into the next few hours.
No tomorrow!
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